Yeah.
Movin' on up.
Believe that.
Ladies, we got picture.
- What about the alarm? - Miles, what do you think I'm doing?
Deke, cool out. We like to run a loose crew around here.
- You're the boss, Miles. - It's like that?
It's like that.
I'm going to go check on Tulley.
Tulley. We cool down there?
- Yeah, we cool, man. - Good.
Cool is good. Are you smoking?
No. Negative.
You're lying.
I smell the menthol up here, man!
Cut it out. What would your mama do if she knew you were smoking?
Cut it out, man.
Oh! Shit!
Now, stay alert.
You ready over here?
Damn it! Eddie, why you got to do that every time?
It's good luck.
It's bad luck if I land in it. Believe that.
Don't fall in that shit.
See you, Deke.
Good luck, guys.
How's the weather up there?
- Snowing. - Yeah?
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
You got a guard 20 feet from you.
Ten feet. Closing fast.
He's around the corner.
He turned around.
Forget it. He's gone.
So much for the easy part. Kit.
- Aw, shit! - Damn!
- I hate it when you do that. - Check this out.
This is a Brigger 3300. Toughest safe in the world.
- What's the first thing you do? - Drill the lock.
No, you check to see if it's open.
It's open!
What?
No, I'm messing with you. They would never do that.
You know they would never do that.
Glasses.
- See you back up top. - Right.
Open sesame.
Come on, Eddie. You got the rock?
Miles is right behind me.
Whoa!
- What the hell you doing? - 17 million four ways...
I'm too greedy for that, Eddie.
Come on, man.
Oh, yeah.
Come here, gorgeous.
Got the rock. Time to roll.
Hurry up. We got activity up here.
- Let's go! - Shit!
Freeze!
Go!
You, stay down! Don't move! Let me see your hands!
- Where's Eddie? - He went over already.
- You get the rock? - What?
- You got the rock? - What you doing?
- Give me the rock! - You ain't got to do this!
You want the rock? We're supposed to split this. Why you doing this?
Shit!
You're a dead man, you piece of shit!
Miles!
Damn!
Yes!
Oh, good doggy. Good doggy.
Kibbles 'N Bits. Easy.
Where's the nearest exit?
Stay where you are! Hands up!
- Turn around! - I'm a carpenter!
- Turn around! - I was working late.
See? That's the saw. I was working.
You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be used against you.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford one, one will appointed for you.
Do you understand your rights?
Come on.
♪ Ain't nothin' but a free thing, baby ♪
Yeah!
I'm a free man. Believe that.
One belt, one shoelace, one wallet containing...
22 dollars.
One shoelace? You know how much those shoes cost?
One shoelace? I came in here with two.
You took my shoelace? Did you take my shoelace?
You got two seconds to walk out that door.
Sign out, and leave my pen.
I'm signing out.
Got places to go, people to see.
My lady, Janiece.
Ass. Ka-pow!
It's like that.
What you going to do with one shoelace?
Let me in on the secret. Floss your ass?
Gotta go.
Y'all stay up, man. Don't be mad 'cause I got to go.
Open that. Thank you. I'm out of here.
Oh, man!
Where them butt-naked hoes at? You know?
Let me out of here.
Yes!
I'm free! I'm free at last!
Gotta go.
Gotta go!
I'm out of here!
Damn!
What happened?
Did you eat the whole time I was in there?
When I left, you was, like, plickety-cow, plickety-pow.
Now you're like, Va-voom, and some Oprah shit.
Wait a minute.
I can adjust. It's the love that counts.
I can adjust to a plus-size woman.
Just more cushion for the pushin'.
Janiece! Your sad-ass sack of bones is here.
I apologize. You're her cousin.
Can I buy you some cereal?
It's okay, Shawna.
There you are.
Wow, baby, you are...
You look beautiful. You are beautiful.
And that's not two years of prison talking.
Oh, baby, it must have been hard in there for you.
All alone at night in your little cot.
Tell me something, Miles...
did you think about me?
Think about you all the time.
Thinking about you right now.
You should have thought about that...
before you started robbing people!
Janiece! I never robbed you!
I'm a rehabilitated man!
Talk to me.
I didn't come see you for two years. Wasn't that a sign?
I know you couldn't stand to see your man like that.
"Man"?
You're not my man. You lie.
- You told me you were a banker. - No.
Bank robber. Sometimes I stutter.
But I'm getting that whole speech impediment thing...
You are a very smart man, but the entire time we spent together...
was one big lie.
Look, Janiece, listen to me, okay?
I know I lied about some things, but I can change.
I don't think so. Bye!
Don't do me like this.
Fifth and Grand?
Hi. How you doing? Is this really a police station?
Of course.
I have a delivery for Traffic.
Oh, yeah. Sign by the X.
What have we got?
Egg roll. Orange chicken.
Yeah, hot pizza comin' through. Hot pizza.
Got to get the police officers their pizza.
They got to protect and serve. The police got to eat too.
Let the officers eat, please.
I am the pizza man, here to deliver the pizza. Thank you.
Officers, I got your pizzas!
Third floor, Robbery, Homicide.
Yeah, please, be careful. Pizza's very hot.
Don't want nobody to get hurt. Just got to get my pizza quick.
Pizza quick. That's how we do it.
Pizza quick. Watch it, watch it, watch it, watch it.
Two times. Bring it up. Oh, don't drop the pizza.
Pizza delivery for Robbery-Homicide.
Robbery-Homicide.
Why is it I don't see Robbery-Homicide...
with a pizza delivery in the log-in sheet?
I'll tell you what. Why don't you leave that pizza here with me?
No, I'll tell you what.
Last time I left a pizza here, it magically disappeared.
I mean, it's just like leaving candy around me.
It's not gonna be all right. I'm going to... chomp it up!
There's two kinds of people who get through that door.
People wearing handcuffs, people wearing a badge.
You don't have on either, do you?
I don't have a badge or handcuffs, so...
Officer Carlson.
- We want to flip that card over. - Sorry. Just got it.
Excuse me, Officer.
The guys in Homicide ordered this pizza about an hour ago.
I don't want to leave them with Shamu over there.
I'm not sure what you want me to do.
- Take them. - Sir, I'm on duty. I can't do that.
Yes, you can. Please, take them. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Break it down. Get down.
Two-time! Left!
One time! Break it down!
Left leg! Bring it around!
Walk.
You hid a diamond in a police station?
I didn't know it was a police station.
Can you change the ID or not?
Sure, but aren't they going to be suspicious...
of a pizza man with a security clearance?
- I'm not going back as a pizza man. - What are you going as?
- A cop. - A cop?
Yeah, a new transfer.
That's why I need that ID and a new file for detective.
Why a detective?
That's where the rock is.
It's going to be expensive.
Uncle Lou, I thought we was like family.
Yeah, well, "like family" is not family.
If you were family, you'd want it for free, right?
Man, you ain't changed. I'll see you later.
- Get your hands up! - Get down. Grab him.
Put some damn clothes on. Get your butt-naked ass down.
Get your butt-naked ass down!
He's butt-naked and he's stinking.
Somebody give him some clothes. He's hiding a gun in his ass!
Get on the ground. Now. That's it. Do it now.
Don't I know you?
Freeze! Cuff him.
Yeah, cuff his ass.
I'm going to cuff you like that, clack.
Now, I'm the good cop. You act up, I'll turn into the bad one.
Freeze! Get 'em up!
Spread your legs now. I'm an officer of the law.
Any sign of Deacon?
Last I heard, he was pulling rip jobs in Carson.
- I warned you about that guy. - That you did.
He's going to know you're out.
This is purely cosmetic. It won't check out.
Don't worry. I'll be out of there in an hour max.
- Thanks. - Good luck.
Hey there, Officer Dog.
- I'm a detective. - Sorry, sir.
She's never done that.
Must be the pastrami.
Are you going up?
Yeah, up. Third floor.
Appreciate it.
- What? - What?
The vehicle belonged to your friend, but you don't remember his name?
Do you have a last name?
Oh, man, these cuffs are tight, man.
- I know. - Miss Green?
Could you please tell this man to loosen these cuffs?
I can't feel my fingers. I'm serious. Please.
- I know it. - Detective.
Not so tight.
Maybe I could loosen them up a bit.
Thank you.
Hello?
Great lawyer there. Top of the line.
There you go.
He's in here.
Jesus.
- How you all doing? - Not again, Carlson.
The guy body-slammed me, sir.
Maybe he likes you.
Get him out of here. What were you thinking?
That's not smart.
Get him out of here.
- Come on. - Get him out.
What happened up there?
Up here?
I caught him trying to escape through the ventilation system.
Who the hell are you?
Malone. Just transferred. Right there.
Check that out. Bam.
- Do you know Malone? - No, sir.
Nobody told me about it.
Uh, guys.
- Sorry, ma'am. - Excuse me.
Clear out.
Let me flush, please.
Didn't know. You might not want to go in there.
You got some paperwork there for me, Malone?
We've been requesting a new detective for eight months.
Suddenly you just turn up. I'll never understand the system.
Downtown bumble-dicks. Burglary, huh?
Sixteen citations. Mayor's commendation.
You worked out of West Covina, huh?
That's what it says right there.
You look familiar, Malone. Have we met before?
You wouldn't happen to be in a bowling league, would you?
That's it. You're a bowler.
I try.
We could use a guy in Burglary.
Carlson!
Right here. Yeah.
I thought I was going to be assigned to a desk.
- Right up in here! - Are you kidding me?
Guy like you? No, you belong on the street.
And, also, listen.
Carlson needs a partner with some experience.
He just got promoted.
- Chief, I just got a call. - Carlson, Malone's joining us.
Show him around.
- Hi. - Carlson.
Let Malone do all the handcuffing, okay?
I appreciate that.
I'll be reviewing these.
All right. This is the bullpen here.
That's booking up there. The holding cells are down that way.
- You want to see them? - Seen one, seen them all.
Yeah, sure. This is my desk here, sir.
- Nice desk. - Thanks.
Let's see. Brass is on five.
Robbery-Homicide, they're on three. Over there?
That's the tag and bag. Sir?
Through those doors, that's the 10-17.
Roger.
- Carlson! - Yes, sir.
Show him the rest later.
- Come on. - Where?
We got a call. Burglary. It's ours. I'll take this.
- We got to go outside? - That's where the crime is.
No. See, I just got here. That's not a good thing.
I got to work in here so I know what's going on out there.
I might need backup.
So how long you been in burglary?
Me? All my life, man.
I heard the chief say that you got 16 citations.
That's incredible. Sixteen.
That's what happens when your Uncle Lou writes your file.
Yeah.
You can ride up front if you want to.
I knew that.
You just got to be real careful for the pedestrians coming out here.
They walk right on out here.
- Am I clear to the right? - You're clear.
Am I clear?
Yeah, I just made detective.
- No kidding. - Yeah.
I worked traffic for three years. It was cool. I got good at it.
You don't have to stop for the yellow. You could drive through.
It's all right.
Not if you've seen some of the accidents I've seen.
No, thanks.
- There's your green right there. - Yeah.
- Could I ask you a personal question? - Yeah, sure!
How many times did you take the test?
- What test? - The test. For detective.
Oh, yeah, that one. One time.
- Really? - Yeah, aced it.
- Really. - Yeah, took it out.
Wow! Took me five tries.
I did really well on the written part...
but my performance reviews weren't so hot.
How many times did it take you to get your driver's license?
Please. Wake me up when we get there.
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
Goodness. Man.
That's a nice suit, sir. It's really cool.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, you know? Appreciate it.
- Got any music? - Oh, yeah, sure.
I like to jam.
Just so long as we can hear the dispatcher.
That's good. I've just never heard this station.
Kind of funky, huh? You like that, huh?
Last night, these shelves were loaded with Elites.
Just came in yesterday. Now they're gone.
- Three dozen gorgeous rims. - They didn't take anything else?
No, they went for my good stuff. Chrome with gold trim.
Five grand worth.
- What about the alarm? - What about it? It went off.
But it took you guys two hours to get here.
My wheels are probably rolling around Tijuana now.
Here's where they came in.
Looks like they just broke the glass...
opened the handle, crawled in the window.
Exactly.
- Shimmied down the shelf or something. - Carlson.
This is a waste of time. That's not how they got in.
'Course it is.
Cut it out, Frankie. That's not how they got in.
This is the spot right here. That's how I would have came in.
If I was a thief.
The skylight. Just cut the alarm from the inside.
I could take my time.
- Why take your time? - Why would I take my time?
It's heavy.
How long would it take for you to carry three dozen of those...
out of the store and load them in the back of a truck?
- Long time. - It would take a very long time.
Yeah, but they probably had three or four guys working...
Zip the shit up.
Frank, hush, 'cause you know better.
Come on. Don't lie to me. I'm the man.
I'm the man, Frank.
You're the man.
Your five thousand, sorry to tell you...
is worth less than two on the street...
which don't go four ways with much juice once you rent a truck.
And to rent a truck...
that requires what?
Credit card...
driver's license.
Unless, of course...
you got your own truck.
He's not going to let us search his truck.
What do you mean, "let us"? We're the police.
Detective, we need a warrant to do that.
We don't even need a key.
Detective, you can't do that. It's unconstitutional.
- Look at that. - Sir?
Voilà! Look at that.
Solved the crime my first day on the job!
We bad detectives.
- There they are! - Sir, filing a false report...
is a very serious crime.
Whoa. No.
I'll handle this. Bring your weeble-wobble ass on over here.
- You like snacks? - Yeah, nothing makes me happier.
You'll be snacking on the bottom of this shoe, this shit happens again.
- You see them ridges? - Yeah.
These ridges are going to be imprinted on the back of your ass...
permanently, if this happens again.
- You understand? - Thoroughly understand you.
Every time you look at your ass, there's going to be a print there.
It's going to remind you of me and my partner...
- and for you lying. - Right.
- Don't want to see those ridges. - Listen.
Stop eating cold cuts, 'cause it's seeping.
It's coming through your pores. All right?
Will do.
I'll put one ridge on your ass. Pow.
Let's roll. No, that's cool. Let's get out of here.
Detective, I know I'm a little bit new at this...
but I thought we were supposed to arrest the bad guys.
Now he owes us one.
So that's how it works.
We let the little fish go...
so that we can catch the big fish later.
I got it.
You mind if I drive? I know a shortcut.
Yeah.
You might want to buckle up.
Are you in a hurry, sir?
Just testing your car... balancing out your shit.
When was the last time you got all up on this thing?
I've never gotten all up on anything, sir.
Sometimes you got to feed some speed to your ride...
every once in a while.
Sir? Watch it! Watch it!
Hey, this is the police! Move your busted-ass vehicle!
Move, move, move, move!
This is the LAPD.
We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.
I could get used to this. I like it.
I like!
Used to what?
Driving. See, my last partner did all the driving.
Who was your partner?
- I don't want to talk about it. - Why?
Look, man, I'm beat.
There are places I can't talk about. You wouldn't understand.
If we're going to be partners, we ought to communicate.
- This thing's like a marriage. - This is nothing like a marriage.
- What is it like? - It's more like a one-night stand.
Wham, bam, thank you, Officer.
- It's like that? - It's like that.
We're going to fight crime and zip the rest of that shit up.
Are you married? Girlfriend?
- Not anymore. - What happened?
Work got in the way.
See?
Looks like somebody took out a fire hydrant, sir.
I'll handle this.
I got to get back. I got a headache.
We're on duty. We'll get back when we get back.
But I need an aspirin. A big one!
Like a hockey puck!
Come here for a second. Sir, relax.
Just take it easy.
I'm going to get... Sir?
Morning, Officer.
Morning. Where's your aspirins?
Back there by the soda machines.
Appreciate it.
You were coming east. I want to know how the car hit the hydrant.
- Open the register! - Don't shoot!
- Come on, man! - Oh, man!
The safe too!
Come on!
37-King-5, shots fired.
Request help, 418 West 5th Street.
Detective Malone!
- You okay? - Oh, shit!
Shit! Get back!
Back! Get back!
I don't need this.
- I don't want no... - Freeze!
Put your hands on the pavement.
- Put your hands on the pavement! - There is no pavement.
Then put them on the Oodles of Noodles.
- On the noodles! - Chicken or beef?
Chicken.
Cool.
- Cool is good. - Hold on.
Miles?
Tulley!
- Nigger, what are you doin'? - What are you doin' here?
- I'm freakin' workin' over here. - Detective Malone!
I'm coming in!
Put the gun down!
Detective Malone, talk to me!
Go out the back way!
Detective, talk to me!
- Take two steps back! - What?
Go!
Hold it!
Hold your fire!
- You okay? - Yeah.
Shit!
It's a dead end!
No shit!
He's down behind those Dumpsters. He's freaking out, and he's got a gun.
Back up!
Get SWAT up here! Sharpshooters can take him out from the roof.
No sharpshooters.
Why the hell not?
Miles, what are you doing here, man?
- Who's the talking to? - I don't know.
He high, man. He's hallucinating, smoking that shit!
He's high.
Put down the gun and come out!
Hold this. I'm going in.
What are you doing? What, are you crazy?
Miles, what are you doing here, man?
I just want to talk to you before somebody gets hurt.
- Go away! - Sir, please put down the gun!
- Son, come on. - Shut up!
It hurts my heart...
to see a kid that has so much potential...
- You're smarter than that. - I'm coming out!
Hold it. Listen, man.
Goddamn it! What are you doing?
What the hell are you doing? You got me out here in this shit.
How many times I told you forget the safe?
Go for the cash drawer. Get in and get out.
He's standing in the way. I can't get a shot.
I can't either.
Why are you hitting mom-and-pop stores anyway?
You're a driver, man.
You got skills. You can be out on the road doing your shit!
But I'm desperate, because I need some money too!
Why the freak are we whispering?
Back up, nigger! I saw you!
- What are they talking about? - I don't know.
I'm working on something here, and you're blowing it for me!
I'm sorry, man. I'm messing up.
- I'm messing up, man. - It's all right.
I'm not mad at you.
I'm not mad at you, but you have to give me the gun...
and let me arrest you.
Tulley, come on, man. Listen.
I'll give you ten grand. You know I'm good for it.
I'm thinking like 50.
Fifty? That's pushing it, man!
Damn! Twenty, okay?
You'll spend one night in jail. That's the best I can do.
All right, fine. I'm keeping my gun, though.
You cannot let me arrest you and keep the gun!
- Come on! - Damn!
I just got this. This is hard to find.
It's hard to find, but you have to give up the gun.
What you want to do?
Give up the gun, or have 'em...
put six or seven bullets in your ass, man!
Now, give me that gun!
Don't just hand it to me. I got to take it from you.
They're watching. They're looking.
Now, this is going to hurt a bit.
- Huh? - I say, "This is going to hurt a bit."
Holy Jesus!
That's incredible.
Remember, you don't know me anymore.
I sure don't. You didn't used to be so violent.
So, he's like, "Carlson, take my jacket!"
He steps out. He's like, "I got to do this."
We're like, "What are you doing?" He's like, "Believe that."
Goes down the alley, right up to the guy.
Next thing you know, he's taking the guy's gun...
dropped the guy with a punch... just leveled him.
I mean, blink and you would have missed it.
Malone! In my office!
Now!
Not you, Carlson.
Been looking through your record.
How come I never heard of you?
I was undercover, on the down low.
We need a new guy to head up Burglary. Isn't that the real reason you're here?
- Yeah, sure. - It's no secret.
Burglary's been a problem division...
ever since we lost our lead detective last year.
Usually we promote from within the ranks...
but I think these guys need someone new.
So, if you want the job, you got it.
Excuse me?
You're the new lead detective, Burglary division.
Me?
Technically, there's a 30-day qualifying period...
before I can make it official...
but with your record, I don't think there's going to be any problem.
Say something, for chrissake!
Thank you.
Let's party?
What is this, high school? Listen up.
As of now Detective Malone is Burglary's new acting lead detective.
- Get these processed ASAP. - Yes, sir.
Thank you.
I got things I got to do. I'll catch up with you later.
- And I'll take these. - You know what to do with these?
- Sure, I do. - Okay, great, sir. Sorry.
- Captain Penelli? - I'm busy right now.
Jesus!
Oh, man.
Shit!
Damn!
What? Yeah.
How do you want me to handle the rotation?
Rotation... I don't understand what you mean. Rotation what?
The shifts.
Look, Hardcastle, I can't figure out everything on the first day, all right?
I noticed you had a leak up here. What's that about?
Hot water pipe burst. Flooded all the vents.
- Vents? - They flushed out the whole system.
Big pain in the ass.
This must be the new guy everybody's talking about.
Captain Penelli, Detective Malone.
I hear great things.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Nice to meet you too, sir.
Very nice to meet you.
Glad to be here.
Gotta go.
He's a strange one.
Oh, yeah.
Place is closed.
I said we closed. I should have locked up.
Nice to see you, Lou.
I'm looking for Miles.
I haven't seen him.
I got this message from his mother. It's really important.
I still haven't seen him.
Be quiet.
Damn, you're good.
You are good.
Good morning. Listen up.
Word is that Jean LaFleur is bringing a big shipment of heroin through town.
...hot for him down in San Diego.
San Diego PD's done an excellent job...
shutting down the harbor and the airports on him.
Detective Malone just transferred from West Covina.
He's going to be heading up our Burglary division.
Detective...
tell us a little about your plans.
I plan to fight crime.
You know, shit like that.
Great, then.
Does anybody have any questions for Detective Malone?
Yeah, I got a question.
What do you think about the P-31?
P-31?
- What do you think? - It's a piece of shit.
Diaz.
We've all been having problems with the P-31, right?
I'm just wondering what the new lead detective...
plans to do about it.
- All right. Diaz, is it? - With a Z.
What do you think we should do about it, Diaz?
I think we should scrap it.
How many people think we should scrap the P-31?
There it is.
Scrapped. You know why? 'Cause you want it scrapped.
It's out of there. P-31. Out of there. No more. Gone.
You want 31 flavors?
Baskin and Robbins is where you want to be. Be cool.
- That's my partner. - Oh, yeah?
Detective.
What is it?
I'd like to work with the P-40.
Yeah, the P-40's good.
P-40 it is!
What's he doing? We just got those things.
He's shaking things up. Maybe that's exactly what we need.
- I'm not a cop. - Malone.
This Tulley asshole's been screaming he wants to talk to you.
He's down in Interrogation.
Right away. I'll talk with him.
Interrogation's this way.
Knew that. Is he running his mouth?
He says he has information about another robbery...
but he says he'll only talk to the officer who arrested him.
I'll talk to him. Alone.
We'll be watching.
What's going on? You said I'd only spend one night in jail!
What you want to tell me?
What is it?
You said I would spend only one night in jail.
It's only been one night.
- Where's my fifty grand? - Fifty?
I said twenty grand.
Well, maybe it's fifty now, 'cause I need...
Detectives. I've been assigned to Mr. Tulley.
Great. That's him.
Oh, my God! What in the world...
What's going on?
- Help! - What is this?
Police!
Oh, my God.
Help! I'll tell you everything!
Take your hands off my client!
It's no use. He ain't talking.
That's because you have your hand over his mouth!
Yeah, I think we accomplished enough for one day.
Wait a second. This guy said he has information on another case.
Are you jerking our chain or not?
I'm not jerking your chain, fella.
This guy Logan owes me $50,000.
If I don't get it soon...
- I'm talking! - All right!
Who's Logan, and what do you know about him?
All I can tell you, sir, is that he's gay. Gay! Gay!
I've had enough of this...
We certainly have. Come with me.
You're going to be hearing from my office, Detective.
He made me bite my tongue.
He hit me here.
Next time, use a phone book on him.
- They took my shoelace. - Hearing from your office.
Look how she's all over him.
Then he said I was ugly and I couldn't read good.
Hey, man, what's up?
Where have you been? Some guy has been calling you.
- Who was it? - Your old partner.
Said he hopes you found what you've been looking for...
because your health benefits are about to expire...
whatever that means.
Shit!
Bingo!
Yeah!
What is it with you and the heating ducts, sir?
Cold, Carlson. You don't feel that?
Very cold, but I'm busy. What is it you want?
I just tried to pull up your records...
and I couldn't find any Malone.
Oh, you're worrying about...
That's probably because it was spelled...
When I put the name in the list...
Sir, the badge number doesn't exist. Yeah.
Let me talk to you for a minute.
- I want to find out what's going on. - You're going to find out.
Now, look.
What I'm about to tell you is classified.
You tell anyone...
I will bust your ass down to parade detail!
- I've been on that detail. - You've been on that?
- That's permanent horseshit patrol. - Yes, sir.
This place is a cesspool. Yeah, but listen.
I'm not from West Covina.
- I'm from Internal Affairs. - Oh, man!
All right? This place is a cesspool.
- I can't believe I didn't notice! - But it is!
- It doesn't seem like a cesspool. - Believe it, man!
There's a lot of dirty shit going on here.
That's why they sent me here.
Supercop here. They said, "Go in there and investigate.
Do what you do, find another supercop.
You all supercop up as a team and crack down the shit."
Crack it down. That's what I'm here to do.
Are we the only guys that know about it? We're in the shit now!
You are a good cop.
But damn it, you just dug too deep.
Yes, sir. What do you want me to do?
Good thing you asked.
Keep your eyes open.
I need you to be here.
And watch my back.
You got it, sir. I'm out of here.
No, the other way. Go back.
Shit!
Evidence room.
Yeah.
There you are. I just got a call.
A 4-13 is in progress at the airport.
Go ahead. I'll catch up.
Bullshit you'll catch up.
Someone just stole a museum exhibit from a cargo hold.
That's my problem?
You're lead detective.
Get your ass out there now.
The FBI and Customs Service is already on the case.
- Why are you standing out here? - They won't let me in.
Feds are all over.
That's bullshit.
It'll take a while. These boxes contained an entire Egyptian temple.
Excuse me. Let me see this. Man!
- And who are you? - Malone, LAPD.
Agent Gray, FBI.
We'll let you boys in after we're done.
Look at all this stuff.
They nearly destroyed all this stuff, and they didn't take none of it.
Look, Officer Malone.
Detective.
You're out of your jurisdiction, and you're over your head.
I'm over my head? No, I'm over your head...
'cause your head's up your ass.
You're interfering with a federal investigation, Officer.
Now, if you and your bunch want to feel important...
you can help secure the outer perimeter.
Are we clear?
Yeah. We clear.
And, please, tell your men not to touch anything on their way out.
- It's like that? - Yeah, it's like that.
"Head up your ass." That was great.
I couldn't believe you said that.
He called me "officer."
I am lead detective. I have 16 citations.
You think that shit comes easy?
The guy's nothing but an FBI asshole.
He thinks we're good for nothing but sucking down doughnuts. Screw him.
Let them chase their own goddamn temple.
They weren't looking for no temple. They were looking for drugs.
- Drugs? - Yes, drugs.
It's the oldest trick in the book.
You smuggle it in, boost it before it hits customs.
Right? Make it look like a heist.
That's how all the big boys do it.
All they have to do is look for a truck with the letter B on it.
- What do you mean, B? - Bonded.
Bonded trucks can get into bonded warehouses.
Let me ask you something. How do you know all this stuff?
Did a little work in bonded warehouses.
All right, then. So what are we waiting for?
Let's do something, all right? Come on. Call in air support.
Dispatch, this is 37-King-5.
Put me through to South Bay Air Support.
10-12, I've got a white panel truck...
B-9-6, southbound on Wheeler...
near the Manhattan Beach intersection.
Roger. We're close.
Now you're in a hurry?
Sometimes you got to feed a little speed to your ride. Know what I'm saying?
Here we go.
Check out the driver.
Yeah, five foot six, greasy hair, messy, very disheveled...
Are you a hairdresser or a detective?
That's a jailhouse tat.
Driver's did a stretch somewhere.
10-12, requesting backup.
LAPD, this is Agent Gray, FBI.
Stand down. I repeat, stand down.
This is bullshit.
Screw them. Come on! Let's do it.
Come on, you!
- Come on. Get the door. - Come on!
Drop your weapons!
- Don't move! - Shit!
Stand still!
- Put 'em down! - Take him! He's yours!
Don't you run from me! Don't you run!
Let's see those hands, butterball.
Come here!
You want to make me run?
Come back here!
Don't do that!
Bring your ass here!
Come here!
I'm not playing!
I'm not playing games!
Come here!
It's okay. Don't worry. I'm a cop.
All right? It's all right. All right?
Damn.
Don't you know better than to run from the police?
I do.
You got me tired. I don't like to get tired.
When I get tired, that means I got ass to whup.
I think that's what I'm about to do. Get your ass up!
Bingo. That's the shit.
We showed them. We showed them, and that's what I wanted to do, you know?
- Book this into Evidence. - Exactly. I'll go up with it.
I want you interrogating those men right now.
I need to go up with this stuff and book it into Evidence personally.
Why?
I have to go through it for clues.
You got to interrogate the suspects. Find out where they were going.
Then when you get them to talk, you can go through all the evidence you want.
But, sir...
If I get clues, it'd make for a better ass-whupping in the interrogation room.
Let's hear it for Detective Malone!
Come on. You heard what he said.
That's it. I want a lawyer. You cops can't do this.
I got news for you. I ain't a cop.
God, he's good.
I checked him out. West Covina never heard of him.
- So you know. - Know what?
- He's Internal Affairs. - What? He's not I.A.
- He's not? - Hell, no. He's FBI.
But he hates the FBI.
That's to throw you off. You think this thing's an accident?
He knew about the heroin thing from the start.
FBI probably planted him, thinking he'd get first jump on the burglary call.
Afraid we'd screw it up.
Pencil-dicks.
You don't get that kind of training at the academy.
That's old school.
You're crushing my head!
That's federal government training.
Like Navy SEAL stuff.
Let's go give him a hand.
All right! All right! I'll talk! I'll talk!
Look at you.
It was all worth it for you, baby.
What are you doing?
I'm just so happy that we keeping these drugs off the street.
Get over it. They're going right back out again.
Why?
Because the FBI wants to take it to their lab right away.
Roll it out.
Come on!
Let's go.
Come on.
Detective.
That heroin belongs to Jean LaFleur.
We've been after him for five years...
but he keeps shifting his operations between the US and Mexico.
We're taking it down to our lab right now.
I don't think that's such a good idea.
- Why not? - Why don't we keep it with us?
LaFleur doesn't know we have it. We could use it for bait.
- You mean a sting? - Exactly. A sting.
LaFleur expects these drugs to be in San Diego in three hours.
What kind of sting operation can you get off the ground before then?
The driver told me one of the guys on the truck was new.
You can replace him with somebody else...
then catch LaFleur when he goes to pick up the drugs.
Got him!
Let me get this straight.
You're volunteering to escort these drugs into the hands...
of the most dangerous dealer in the Northern Hemisphere?
Hell, no!
What do you need to make it work?
- Me? - You're the man for the job.
FBI will have tactical command, but we'll follow your lead.
That's very brave of you, Detective. Let's go. We don't have much time.
Way to go.
I'm just suggestin' some shit y'all can do.
We need more men like you.
All right. Hurry up. Go. Get out of here before someone sees you.
Wait. Hold up. Wait a minute.
You wanted to go. I'm getting you out of here. Go!
You wouldn't still be here unless that diamond was here.
- I want my cut! - Ain't nothin' to cut.
I'm tryin' to, but I got to get the diamond first.
Go get it. I'll wait.
I'm trying to, but first I got to run a sting on a drug dealer.
- You're a goddamn liar. - Would I make this up? Now, go!
- I'll see you at Lou's tomorrow. - I want to talk about this.
Wait. I don't know what you're doin', but it ain't going to work.
Let me get my gun back!
Damn.
Maybe this isn't a good idea.
- Sir, this is a great idea. It'll work. - It's brilliant.
- LaFleur will be lookin' for this. - We know what we're doing, Detective.
I'm a detective now?
Detective, can you give us a level, please?
All right, Detective.
The objective is to have these men look upon you as if you were one of them...
a member of the criminal underworld.
It's important that your actions, your speech and your mode of behavior...
is all congruent with their expectation of a fellow criminal.
- I get it. Walk the walk. - That's right.
You have to look, act and even think like a criminal.
You're going to have to change your speech patterns too.
Most criminals like to use slang terminology, profanity...
especially with regard to police and authority figures.
You mean like, "Shut the hell up, you dickless FBI"?
- That's right. That'll do. - "You stupid ass..."
- That'll do. - "You tight..."
Enough!
Listen up. LaFleur's a killer.
If he senses anything amiss, Malone is going to be in one hell of a tight spot.
If anything happens to me, forget everything I ever told you.
You mean about Internal Affairs?
I mean about everything.
Detective, saddle up.
- Okay? - Okay. Good luck.
Remember. Forget it.
Time to go.
Detective?
If my client gets so much as a scratch while he's in your custody...
I won't stop until your badge is revoked and you're thrown in jail.
You got me?
You can't touch me.
- Detective! - He'll be fine, Counselor.
Let's get this show on the road.
Drive. Buckle up.
- Give me video. - Let's get one thing straight.
This is my side over here, and that's your side over there.
You stay on your side, and I'm going to stay on mine, okay?
Gentlemen, let's keep the chatter to a minimum.
You don't like the show, change the channel.
And keep this channel clear.
- Who is this guy? - That's Malone.
- I can't drive if you do that. - Drive!
We're coming up on our exit.
All units, this is Gray. Fall back. Keep your distance.
We're approaching the site.
LAPD, take the south side. We'll take the north.
They're headed into warehouse three.
Focus in. Closer.
This is it.
- You're sure? - Warehouse three.
Sit tight and keep your mouth shut.
Thanks for the tip.
What the hell's Malone doing?
They're coming in. They're right behind you.
Get ready. Here he comes.
That's what I'm talking about!
- That's the shit. - You're right! That's the shit!
All 500 kilos!
What are you talkin' about? Let's get out of here, 'cause I want my cut.
- You still got him? - We have a signal, but if's distorted.
Can you hear him?
We can't get out of here, okay? They got cops everywhere.
So? You're one of them.
I'm a drug dealer now.
Listen. You're a jewel thief.
I'm a drug dealer now!
Why are you sellin' this shit when you got that big diamond in your hand?
- Just like old times? - I don't believe that shit!
Move over.
This a reunion?
Look what we got here, huh? Give it up.
Isn't that beautiful? Say good-bye.
Welcome to the party.
Son of a bitch!
We've lost them.
I'll enjoy doing you more than I did Eddie.
Shut up!
Oh, my God!
- Know anything about this? - I don't know shit about this!
I'm going to throw up.
What the hell?
All units, stand by.
- What's going on? - I don't know.
- Tulley? - I never know what's going on.
Bring it in! Over here!
- Out of the truck. - Come on. Get out.
- What's going on? - It took longer than I thought.
- What happened to your face? - Nothing. Not a big deal.
-Who are these two guys? Who hired them? -I did. You told me to get guys. I did.
You didn't introduce me. How you doin'?
Pete. Nice to meet you. Heard a lot about you.
Who might you be?
You don't want to mess with him. That's a stone-cold killer.
You don't want to mess with him. He's stone cold.
That boy is bad.
I seen him rip somebody's guts out through their ass...
and their eyes fell out.
Do the move that you do, the gut-and-eyes move.
All right.
That's where the guts went splat. Just dropped them.
I'm bad.
I'm bad, baby. I'll rip your lips off and kiss my ass with them shits.
- I seen him do it. - That's how I get down, baby.
I'll rip your tongue out and lick my balls with them.
Shut up. Check him out.
Francois, you search him.
- They're on to him. We're moving in. - Wait.
This must be part of his plan. Malone knows what he's doing.
What plan? He's unarmed and outnumbered.
Trust me. You should see Malone's résumé.
This is like a walk in the park for him.
I must tell you, Pete.
You look the part.
You certainly talk the talk...
but you still stink like a cop.
Damn! I knew he was going to catch us, man!
Shut up. He's lyin'. That's bullshit. Shut up.
Talk to him. We might get out of here alive.
See what I'm sayin'? He's lyin'.
If I was a cop, would I have busted his... Shit! All that's bleeding.
- Trickling now. - Lock him in the car.
That's right. Get him out of here.
- If I was a cop, would I... - Shut up!
My nose's bleedin'.
Damn!
Tell us the truth.
He's a cop.
He hijacked the truck. This is a setup.
If I was a cop, FBI would be here right now, man, takin' everybody to jail.
I think I have an idea.
You see? Look, he...
You want to prove you're not a cop?
Yeah.
You say he's lying.
- Damn right he's lyin'. - Shoot him.
Shoot him.
No problem.
Shit! You son of a bitch!
I meant kill him.
You didn't say that. You just said, "Shoot him."
Now, you want to prove you are not a cop?
Kill him.
Ain't no comin' back for him.
That's it. We're moving in. All units, move in.
Let's go!
Give me the diamond, or I'll pop another one in your ass.
You had your chance.
Freeze! LAPD! Show me your hands!
Nice shot.
Get out of the car!
Shit!
All units, this is Agent Gray, FBI.
We have no authority beyond our border.
Do not cross into Mexico.
Pursuit of suspect heading southbound.
We have an undercover officer on board.
I repeat! We have a friendly on board! Over!
Roger that.
Hold on!
Shit!
Look out!
Get him. I'm glad to see y'all.
What are y'all waitin' for? Go!
We can't. We have no jurisdiction.
Damn the jurisdiction. Go! Now!
We cannot cross into Mexico.
- You can't? - No!
Watch me.
Believe that!
Move your ass!
Damn. One bullet.
Come on.
Shit! Shit!
- You're under arrest. - What the hell you think you're doing?
I'm arresting you before they get here.
Oh, yeah? I think I'll just blow your head off before they get here.
You see, the way I see it...
is you got 30 seconds before they make a piñata out of your ass.
What the hell are they talking about?
- Malone is an expert negotiator. - He's an expert, sir.
You got two choices.
You can wind up somebody's bitch or somebody's señorita.
Make up your mind. It's your choice.
I got three choices, okay? Maybe I just tell them who you are.
You going to shut your mouth, 'cause maybe I cut you back in on the diamond.
Shithead, I got the goddamn diamond.
Come on, Deke. Let me get that up out of you. I'm your only way out.
Give me the gun.
I know you don't want to go to jail in Mexico.
Don't nobody want to go to jail in Mexico.
They put all kind of burritos in your ass.
Shut up.
Come on, Deke. Give me the gun. Come on!
They think I'm a cop, okay? They think I'm a cop, man.
I can help you, okay?
You don't want to die here. Now, give that up.
You screw me, I swear to God, I'll come back for you.
-I swear to God, I'll come back for you! -Give me the gun!
There you go. Let me get that up out you.
Let it go. There you go.
Come on. There.
There you go.
Now, Deke...
this is going to hurt a little.
Holy Christ.
That's for Eddie.
Adiós, amigo.
You son of a bitch!
Come back here!
You son of a bitch!
You die!
You all right?
I needed a vacation anyway, right?
FBI needs to talk to you, Detective Malone.
Peterson, regional director, FBI. We need to talk.
Wait a minute. Slow down.
No, Lieutenant. I will not slow down.
Is this man one of yours or not?
You bet your ass he is.
Well, I'm going to find out what happened here...
even if it means putting your entire department under federal review.
- Yeah? - Nice work.
My office just spent the last hour talking...
to West Covina and the US Attorney's Office...
trying to find out who you're working for.
Now we know it's not the bureau.
I think it's time you gave us an explanation.
- I'm a federale. - A federale?
Look across that border. What do you see?
That is the Democratic Republic of Mexico.
- You're Mexican? - On my mother's father's side.
- I can see it. - Grasias, thank you.
I shouldn't be tellin' y'all this, because I could lose my federale-hood.
- Your what? - My federale-hood.
I had to throw you guys off, okay?
I was doing it for my country.
The red, the white...
and the green.
If you guys will excuse me, I must get across this border...
and school some of my compadres, you know...
on things we like to talk about.
So y'all stay up. Be cool.
What's happening? Hook a brother up with a taco!
A burrito!
I can't believe so much bad shit can happen on such a beautiful day.
Yeah? What?
I think your Spanish is a little rusty.
You just told those men you got a big cat in your pants.
That's a Latin thing.
Macho. You wouldn't understand.
I think I do understand...
Logan.
What?
How'd you know it was me?
I started thinking, if I was Miles Logan...
and I had my diamond hidden in a police building...
what would I do?
So I thought like a crook.
Is that right? I don't believe this.
He's a major felon.
This is one hell of a bust.
Yeah, it's a hell of a bust for us.
It's just too bad we can't make it.
Say what?
You heard the FBI.
They're extremely strict about pursuing suspects across international borders...
and you're just out of our jurisdiction.
Your...
Exactly, because I'm across...
So if I'm across the border, and you're over there, there's no way that you...
Yeah! I love this jurisdiction shit.
Oh, man.
So I guess this is the last time I'm going to see you boys?
Yeah, but, you know, maybe we'll catch you later.
- Is it like that? - Yeah, it's like that.
Adiós, amigo.
Adiós.
Right there. Jurisdiction.
Thanks.
- You know what I mean? - Yeah.
And I'm out!